6 Ways to Help Children Cope With News
Tuesday, August 20, 2019
Recent dramatic, disturbing news events can leave parents speechless and feel overwhelmed. As an adult, you may take the news as it is, however bad it may be. But a young kid will give it all kinds of interpretations. When something horrible happens to someone else, they are more likely to believe that the same is going to happen to them. The Kaiser Family Foundation puts it nicely;
“Children who watch a lot of TV news tend to overestimate the prevalence of crime and may perceive the world to be a more dangerous place than it actually is,”
So, how do you as parent keep the news at bay until you're able to figure out what to say. Here are some tips on how to talk to young children:
1. Remain calm – The extent to which disturbing news is going to affect young kids largely depends on your own reaction towards it. Consider your own reactions. Take care of yourself first as experiencing difficult tragedies is exhausting. If they sense that you are terrified, they will be too. You should, therefore, set the right emotional tone by staying calm and rational. Let your kids absorb the right emotions and remember to silently assure them that they are safe from whatever is happening.
2. Be the first to let them know what is happening – Before you decide to share current events with your child, carefully consider your child's maturity and temperament. Kindergarten children might not yet understand the differences between fact and fantasy, so try to keep the news away. However, at this day and age, this is virtually impossible. It matters a lot who children hear it from. If you believe that a certain horrible event is going to get huge coverage in the media, think about and practice what you want to say first. Find a quiet moment where both of you can be fully attentive and take it upon yourself to be the first one to let your children know about it.
Consider watching the news with them. This way, you can explain it in your own words and guide them on how they should feel about it. If they think you are calm and collected, they won’t find what they are seeing as frightening. Try to focus on some positive aspect of the news e.g. relief efforts are already sent to help the victims. If they are old enough, you can begin to share your feelings with your child. Be a role model on how to process feelings and thoughts. Then, when they finally get to hear from someone else, it will not affect them that much because you had already set the right emotional tone.
3. Keep them away from the news – If you decide your child’s age, maturity, and emotional makeup are not ready, the best option is to entirely keep them away from the news; repetitive images and stories can make dangers appear more prevalent, and closer to home. You can do this by turning off the TV. Go outside to play or go for a walk. If they are old enough to read, keep them away from phones, laptops and even newspapers. Children may see or hear more than you realize. Therefore, be alert to any signs of fear or anxiety that your children may display.
4. Give assurance of safety -When something tragic happens, young children need to know that they are safe. Kindergarten children tend to worry a lot, whether they are safe and whether they will be separated from their family. Who else to reassure them but you as a parent? Remember not to minimize or undermine their fears, but reassure them they are safe, and as parents, you have taken all the protective measures to keep them safe. For example, if it is a natural disaster like earthquake, you can assure them that that kind of thing does not happen in the region where you live. This assurance will help them calm down and not mentally repeat the events in their heads.
5. Be available and check in – The best way to help children cope with bad news is to be there for them. Be ready for questions and conversations… and snuggles! You want to be prepared to answer (but not prompt) questions about upsetting details. Being physically around bad news can go a long way. Remember conversations like this aren’t over in one session; be prepared to return to the topic as many times as your child needs to come to terms. Make sure you end the conversations with hugs and some family fun. Children find great comfort in routines, and doing things together as a family may be more effective than logical explanations about probabilities.
6. Express their feelings and take action – Sometimes the best way to help children understand the news is to hear their side of the story first. Invite them to talk openly about what scares them or what they have heard so far. By understanding what they are already feeling, you can better help them cope. Broaden the discussion from a disturbing news item to a larger conversation. Talk about what you can do. Use the story of a natural disaster as a way to talk about charity organizations, mission trips, and ways that people cope with hardship. You can even write a postcard expressing their opinion to the local politicians. This helps kids make better sense of what they hear and a sense of control. Check out * websites that help kids do good * .
Conclusion
Disturbing news can adversely affect children. If you're uncomfortable with the content of the news, turn it off. You as a parent play a very vital role in ensuring that your kids do not interpret the news in a way that could affect them. The key is to be honest and help kids feel safe. There's no need to go into more details than your child is interested in. Here are some websites that may help: the*National Association of School Psychologists** and *American Psychological Association* .
Is your little one starting school in August? Are you planning to toilet-train them over the summer in preparation for their school start? Read our article written by
Hong Kong Kindergarten Specialist: "A step by step guide to toilet-training" to get some valuable tips and tricks on how to make this a smooth and stress-free process!
Sources:
Moreno, M. A. (2017). How to talk to your children about tragedies in the news (JAMA Pediatrics). Retrieved from https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2646851?fbclid=IwAR1xBI_fSFVxlzWAQAwyjx37YLl80Zal4ixSKeYpyfEPoY0l84vwiD5q4IE
Gurwitch, R. (2015). How to talk to children about difficult news (American Psychological Association). Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/talking-to-children
“Children who watch a lot of TV news tend to overestimate the prevalence of crime and may perceive the world to be a more dangerous place than it actually is,”
So, how do you as parent keep the news at bay until you're able to figure out what to say. Here are some tips on how to talk to young children:
1. Remain calm – The extent to which disturbing news is going to affect young kids largely depends on your own reaction towards it. Consider your own reactions. Take care of yourself first as experiencing difficult tragedies is exhausting. If they sense that you are terrified, they will be too. You should, therefore, set the right emotional tone by staying calm and rational. Let your kids absorb the right emotions and remember to silently assure them that they are safe from whatever is happening.
2. Be the first to let them know what is happening – Before you decide to share current events with your child, carefully consider your child's maturity and temperament. Kindergarten children might not yet understand the differences between fact and fantasy, so try to keep the news away. However, at this day and age, this is virtually impossible. It matters a lot who children hear it from. If you believe that a certain horrible event is going to get huge coverage in the media, think about and practice what you want to say first. Find a quiet moment where both of you can be fully attentive and take it upon yourself to be the first one to let your children know about it.
Consider watching the news with them. This way, you can explain it in your own words and guide them on how they should feel about it. If they think you are calm and collected, they won’t find what they are seeing as frightening. Try to focus on some positive aspect of the news e.g. relief efforts are already sent to help the victims. If they are old enough, you can begin to share your feelings with your child. Be a role model on how to process feelings and thoughts. Then, when they finally get to hear from someone else, it will not affect them that much because you had already set the right emotional tone.
3. Keep them away from the news – If you decide your child’s age, maturity, and emotional makeup are not ready, the best option is to entirely keep them away from the news; repetitive images and stories can make dangers appear more prevalent, and closer to home. You can do this by turning off the TV. Go outside to play or go for a walk. If they are old enough to read, keep them away from phones, laptops and even newspapers. Children may see or hear more than you realize. Therefore, be alert to any signs of fear or anxiety that your children may display.
4. Give assurance of safety -When something tragic happens, young children need to know that they are safe. Kindergarten children tend to worry a lot, whether they are safe and whether they will be separated from their family. Who else to reassure them but you as a parent? Remember not to minimize or undermine their fears, but reassure them they are safe, and as parents, you have taken all the protective measures to keep them safe. For example, if it is a natural disaster like earthquake, you can assure them that that kind of thing does not happen in the region where you live. This assurance will help them calm down and not mentally repeat the events in their heads.
5. Be available and check in – The best way to help children cope with bad news is to be there for them. Be ready for questions and conversations… and snuggles! You want to be prepared to answer (but not prompt) questions about upsetting details. Being physically around bad news can go a long way. Remember conversations like this aren’t over in one session; be prepared to return to the topic as many times as your child needs to come to terms. Make sure you end the conversations with hugs and some family fun. Children find great comfort in routines, and doing things together as a family may be more effective than logical explanations about probabilities.
6. Express their feelings and take action – Sometimes the best way to help children understand the news is to hear their side of the story first. Invite them to talk openly about what scares them or what they have heard so far. By understanding what they are already feeling, you can better help them cope. Broaden the discussion from a disturbing news item to a larger conversation. Talk about what you can do. Use the story of a natural disaster as a way to talk about charity organizations, mission trips, and ways that people cope with hardship. You can even write a postcard expressing their opinion to the local politicians. This helps kids make better sense of what they hear and a sense of control. Check out * websites that help kids do good * .
Conclusion
Disturbing news can adversely affect children. If you're uncomfortable with the content of the news, turn it off. You as a parent play a very vital role in ensuring that your kids do not interpret the news in a way that could affect them. The key is to be honest and help kids feel safe. There's no need to go into more details than your child is interested in. Here are some websites that may help: the
Is your little one starting school in August? Are you planning to toilet-train them over the summer in preparation for their school start? Read our article written by
Hong Kong Kindergarten Specialist: "A step by step guide to toilet-training" to get some valuable tips and tricks on how to make this a smooth and stress-free process!
Sources:
Moreno, M. A. (2017). How to talk to your children about tragedies in the news (JAMA Pediatrics). Retrieved from https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2646851?fbclid=IwAR1xBI_fSFVxlzWAQAwyjx37YLl80Zal4ixSKeYpyfEPoY0l84vwiD5q4IE
Gurwitch, R. (2015). How to talk to children about difficult news (American Psychological Association). Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/talking-to-children