How to Help Your Child Sleep Like a Baby Part 2: Dealing With Nightmares and Night Terrors
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
In this post, a continuation of our previous post (Help Your Child Sleep Like a Baby Part 1: Sleep Routines ) on sleeping routines, we’ll explain the difference in nightmares and night terrors, as well as tips to help your child
Nightmares
Nightmares are common and most children have nightmares once in a while, but 2- to 4-year-olds are particularly prone. This is an age when normal fears develop, imagination blossoms, and the ability to describe a bad dream accelerates. Your child's nightmares may stem from listening to a story that's scary (even if it doesn't seem scary to you), watching an upsetting program or movie, getting excited or worked up before bed, or feeling anxious or stressed during the day.
Many things can cause stress for a 2- to 4-year-old, from toilet training to moving to a big-kid bed, changes in childcare or at preschool, or arguments between parents. For a child working through their feelings about these stressful events, nightmares are a normal response, and you're not a bad parent if your child has them.
How to help your child after a nightmare
Go to your child when they cry out. Physical reassurance is important, so hug them or rub their back until they calm down. If you bring your child into your bed to comfort them, be aware you could be creating a habit that's hard to reverse.
Let them tell you about the nightmare if they want to, but don't press it. Console them verbally, but remember that "it's only a dream" might not be much help, as your child is just beginning to understand the difference between reality and fantasy. But it's still something worth saying, since children this age are ready to start learning that nightmares aren't real.
You may also want to show your child there are no monsters under the bed or hiding in the closet. Be nonchalant about it to avoid getting drawn into an all-the-lights-on monster-hunt extravaganza and making them overstimulated, which will have the opposite effect! Check that your child's favorite toy or stuffed animal is tucked in with them, make sure the night-light is on, and remind them you're close by, ready to assure that everyone at home is safe.
Preventing nightmares
First, minimize overall stress by making sure your child is getting enough sleep. A relaxing and peaceful bedtime routine – a warm bath, an upbeat story, a song, and a night-light – can help ward off nightmares. Try reading bedtime books that discuss dreams and sleeping, such as In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak, Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream! by Martha Heineman Pieper and Jo Gershman, or Brave Little Monster by Ken Baker.
If you suspect anxiety or stress is behind the bad dreams, try talking to your child about what might be bothering him during the calmer daylight hours. If the nightmares persist and he's extremely afraid of going to bed or fearful during the day, bring it up with his doctor – the dreams could signal an emotional issue that needs addressing.
Sometimes 2- to 4-year-olds feel better if they attempt to take control of a scary situation. Though not all children are comforted by methods like these, here are a few tricks to try:
• Write a sign that says, "Only sweet dreams allowed here," or words to similar effect, to hang over your child's bed. Have them decorate it with stickers or drawings of things they enjoy and wants to dream about.
• Let them rub a little skin lotion or face cream – you might call it "good dream cream" – on their tummy or forehead before turning in for the night.
• Fill a spray bottle with water scented with a couple drops of vanilla extract ("monster spray" or "nightmare repellent") and let your child banish scary dreams by spritzing a little around their room before bed.
Night terrors
A night terror is a sleep disruption that seems similar to a nightmare, but is far more dramatic. A night terror is not technically a dream, but more like a sudden reaction of fear that happens during the transition from one sleep stage to another. Night terrors usually happen about 2 or 3 hours after a child falls asleep, when sleep moves from the deepest stage of non-REM sleep to lighter REM sleep. Usually this transition is a smooth one. But sometimes, a child becomes upset and frightened — and that fear reaction is a night terror.
Night terrors are relatively rare — they happen in only 3%–6% of kids, while almost every child will have a nightmare occasionally. Night terrors usually happen in kids between 4 and 12 years old, but have been reported in babies as young as 18 months. They seem to be a little more common among boys.
Though night terrors can be alarming for parents who witness them, they're not usually cause for concern or a sign of a deeper medical issue. During a night terror, a child might:
• suddenly sit upright in bed
• shout out or scream in distress
• have faster breathing and a quicker heartbeat
• be sweating
• thrash around
• act upset and scared
After a few minutes, or sometimes longer, the child simply calms down and returns to sleep. Unlike nightmares, which kids often remember, kids won't have any memory of a night terror the next day because they were in deep sleep when it happened — and there are no mental images to recall.
Restful sleep
Night terrors can be very upsetting for parents, who might feel helpless when they can't comfort their child. The best way to handle a night terror is to wait it out patiently and make sure your child doesn't get hurt if thrashing around. Kids usually will settle down and return to sleep on their own in a few minutes. It's best not to try to wake kids during a night terror. This usually doesn't work, and kids who do wake are likely to be disoriented and confused, and may take longer to settle down and go back to sleep. There's no treatment for night terrors, but you can help prevent them. If your child has a night terror around the same time every night, you can try waking him or her up about 15–30 minutes before then to see if that helps prevent it. Try to:
• reduce your child's stress
• create a bedtime routine that's simple and relaxing
• make sure your child gets enough rest
• help your child from becoming overtired
• don't let your child stay up too late
What are some effective techniques you’ve tried that work for you? Let us know by commenting on our Facebook page： https://www.facebook.com/mightyoaksedu
Nightmares
Nightmares are common and most children have nightmares once in a while, but 2- to 4-year-olds are particularly prone. This is an age when normal fears develop, imagination blossoms, and the ability to describe a bad dream accelerates. Your child's nightmares may stem from listening to a story that's scary (even if it doesn't seem scary to you), watching an upsetting program or movie, getting excited or worked up before bed, or feeling anxious or stressed during the day.
Many things can cause stress for a 2- to 4-year-old, from toilet training to moving to a big-kid bed, changes in childcare or at preschool, or arguments between parents. For a child working through their feelings about these stressful events, nightmares are a normal response, and you're not a bad parent if your child has them.
How to help your child after a nightmare
Go to your child when they cry out. Physical reassurance is important, so hug them or rub their back until they calm down. If you bring your child into your bed to comfort them, be aware you could be creating a habit that's hard to reverse.
Let them tell you about the nightmare if they want to, but don't press it. Console them verbally, but remember that "it's only a dream" might not be much help, as your child is just beginning to understand the difference between reality and fantasy. But it's still something worth saying, since children this age are ready to start learning that nightmares aren't real.
You may also want to show your child there are no monsters under the bed or hiding in the closet. Be nonchalant about it to avoid getting drawn into an all-the-lights-on monster-hunt extravaganza and making them overstimulated, which will have the opposite effect! Check that your child's favorite toy or stuffed animal is tucked in with them, make sure the night-light is on, and remind them you're close by, ready to assure that everyone at home is safe.
Preventing nightmares
First, minimize overall stress by making sure your child is getting enough sleep. A relaxing and peaceful bedtime routine – a warm bath, an upbeat story, a song, and a night-light – can help ward off nightmares. Try reading bedtime books that discuss dreams and sleeping, such as In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak, Mommy, Daddy, I Had a Bad Dream! by Martha Heineman Pieper and Jo Gershman, or Brave Little Monster by Ken Baker.
If you suspect anxiety or stress is behind the bad dreams, try talking to your child about what might be bothering him during the calmer daylight hours. If the nightmares persist and he's extremely afraid of going to bed or fearful during the day, bring it up with his doctor – the dreams could signal an emotional issue that needs addressing.
Sometimes 2- to 4-year-olds feel better if they attempt to take control of a scary situation. Though not all children are comforted by methods like these, here are a few tricks to try:
• Write a sign that says, "Only sweet dreams allowed here," or words to similar effect, to hang over your child's bed. Have them decorate it with stickers or drawings of things they enjoy and wants to dream about.
• Let them rub a little skin lotion or face cream – you might call it "good dream cream" – on their tummy or forehead before turning in for the night.
• Fill a spray bottle with water scented with a couple drops of vanilla extract ("monster spray" or "nightmare repellent") and let your child banish scary dreams by spritzing a little around their room before bed.
Night terrors
A night terror is a sleep disruption that seems similar to a nightmare, but is far more dramatic. A night terror is not technically a dream, but more like a sudden reaction of fear that happens during the transition from one sleep stage to another. Night terrors usually happen about 2 or 3 hours after a child falls asleep, when sleep moves from the deepest stage of non-REM sleep to lighter REM sleep. Usually this transition is a smooth one. But sometimes, a child becomes upset and frightened — and that fear reaction is a night terror.
Night terrors are relatively rare — they happen in only 3%–6% of kids, while almost every child will have a nightmare occasionally. Night terrors usually happen in kids between 4 and 12 years old, but have been reported in babies as young as 18 months. They seem to be a little more common among boys.
Though night terrors can be alarming for parents who witness them, they're not usually cause for concern or a sign of a deeper medical issue. During a night terror, a child might:
• suddenly sit upright in bed
• shout out or scream in distress
• have faster breathing and a quicker heartbeat
• be sweating
• thrash around
• act upset and scared
After a few minutes, or sometimes longer, the child simply calms down and returns to sleep. Unlike nightmares, which kids often remember, kids won't have any memory of a night terror the next day because they were in deep sleep when it happened — and there are no mental images to recall.
Restful sleep
Night terrors can be very upsetting for parents, who might feel helpless when they can't comfort their child. The best way to handle a night terror is to wait it out patiently and make sure your child doesn't get hurt if thrashing around. Kids usually will settle down and return to sleep on their own in a few minutes. It's best not to try to wake kids during a night terror. This usually doesn't work, and kids who do wake are likely to be disoriented and confused, and may take longer to settle down and go back to sleep. There's no treatment for night terrors, but you can help prevent them. If your child has a night terror around the same time every night, you can try waking him or her up about 15–30 minutes before then to see if that helps prevent it. Try to:
• reduce your child's stress
• create a bedtime routine that's simple and relaxing
• make sure your child gets enough rest
• help your child from becoming overtired
• don't let your child stay up too late
What are some effective techniques you’ve tried that work for you? Let us know by commenting on our Facebook page： https://www.facebook.com/mightyoaksedu
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